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The Bathroom Break

"This Gets My Official Seal of Approval" Says Ordinary Person Like His Opinions Are Worth Anything


By Brian Walsh


"I give this classic film Eight-out-of-Ten-Stars," writes Craig Fuller in his movie blog that is read by no one. "Though somewhat dated, the cultural significance is undeniable. ‘The Maltese Falcon’ gets the official Craig Seal of Approval." Craig Fuller is a 34 year old accountant from Michigan who likes to share his opinions on the internet under the extraordinary assumption that these thoughts are worth anything to anybody.


The aforementioned “Craig Seal of Approval” is a classification Mr. Fuller assigns to various products, television shows, books, and homemade lemonades. What the “Seal” truly signifies is unclear. Sources report Fuller’s tendency to solicit his thoughts haphazardly, in situations where they are both unnecessary and unwanted.


“One time Craig gave ‘the official Craig Seal of Approval’ to a comb I let him borrow,” eyewitness Julian Borges informs. “Having no idea what that could possibly mean, I threw out the comb and took a long shower.”


Craig Fuller is set to release a “Top 10” video on his YouTube channel later this week, ranking the fingers on his hands.


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